How to Ask for What You Want
Q: What’s the best way to ask for something spiritually?
A: It depends on what you are asking for. If you’re spiritually asking for assistance in acquiring something in particular, like a new car, in that instance when you know what you want, it would be helpful to be specific in picturing what it is you’re asking for. But if you’re asking for something intangible, then what you are doing is asking the universe to help you figure out and clarify what it is you want and need; to show you variations on a theme so to speak.
When you ask for something and you’re not sure what you’re really asking for, the universe will present you with different options to choose from. For example, let’s say you think you want a ball. The universe takes you to a room full of balls, picks one up and shows it to you and asks, “Is this the one?” And you say, “I don’t want that ball. The universe has failed me. How come I didn’t get what I asked for?”
But you did get what you asked for. You asked for a ball. So it’s a matter of going through the balls until you find the particular one that’s right for you. By showing you various balls, you learn tremendous amounts of information about what you do and don’t want, about what you are and aren’t asking for. You’re learning about the laws of specifics. If you realize this, you won’t become frustrated. You’ll see it as an enjoyable learning process rather than as the universe, or God, or the spirits, having failed you. Do you understand the difference?
Q: As I understand it, we need to be as explicit as possible at the start. But if you can’t be clear, understand that the universe’s way of helping you become clear is to offer you choices.
Yes. It requires practice and patience. But most people are already deeply into that desperation stage by the time they begin asking. So they panic when the universe sends them something and they see it’s not what they had in mind at all. This is why it’s so important to figure out what you want ahead of time, to begin planning ahead of time. You are in partnership with the universe; you must participate on your end as well, or you will not be happy with the results—precisely because you’ve left yourself out of the equation.
The universe responds very quickly. But if you’re already in trouble, even if the universe responds quickly, it won’t feel quickly enough. This is the mistake many people make in their spiritual relationship to God, or whatever you choose to call it. They are taught not to ask for themselves, or not to ask until they really, really need something. In both instances, by then, it’s almost too late. The time to ask for whatever you want is right now.
Q: Does it make any difference if you ask the universe or somebody who’s on the other side?
What makes a difference is what you believe. If you can identify more easily with a deceased relative, a saint, or Jesus, or Buddha, etc., then you will feel more comfortable directing your requests through them. Or you can go directly to the universe. Both work, but one allows for a little quicker return.
Q: Which one?
The universe. When you use a discarnate being, you are sending your message through the operator rather than dialing direct. Both will put your call through, but one is a little quicker.
Q: So a discarnate person, relative, or friend has no greater ability to get something done?
No. But if you believe they do, then they will for you. You just won’t know that the universe itself is actually the one creating. It’s like the Wizard of Oz. You won’t know that it’s the man behind the curtain. You will believe that it is the projection. None of that matters because in the end the energy works whether you believe in a personal figure or a universal energy. It all works the same, ultimately. The reason is that when you are asking God, or whomever, to help you, you are pulling on strings of the space-time continuum to move you where you need to be to have that experience. It’s a directly causal effect.
Q: But it seems that people are praying and asking for all kinds of things every day and don’t seem to be getting them. If the universe responds to what we want, why is it that so many people feel as if they don’t get what they want?
It’s about the balls in the room. They don’t know which ball they want. All they know is that they want a ball. That is one element—they are not clear enough to know what they really want, or why they want it, or what they think it will do for them. In other words, they have not done their homework, and therefore they are sending mixed signals, mixed intentions. The next element is that they don’t believe they’re going to get what they ask for, so they cancel the message as quickly as they release it. It’s like two waves on a pond hitting each other, causing a flat surface. It does not allow for the transfer and successful movement of energy.
One can not allow the negativity of “I’m not deserving,” “I’m not worthy,” or “I shouldn’t be asking.” This is where conventional religion may significantly hamper individuals who are seeking their true spiritual selves and expression by learning to ask for what they need and want for themselves.
The third element is that they ask for something that they don’t really believe is possible, so it gets turned into wishful thinking rather than a partnership with the universe. Because they don’t really believe it, they hold back their energy, initiative and participation, which really has the same effect as canceling out what they’re asking for. If one does this often enough—ask and unconsciously cancel out in the same breath—one will eventually stop asking altogether, because there has been no experience of success in receiving and achieving what one is asking for. One finally stops believing it is even possible.
Q: How can we get better at not canceling out what we’re asking for?
First, be aware that this is what you’ve been taught to do for any number of reasons. Perhaps your religion has discouraged you from asking. Perhaps your parents told you it was selfish to want things for yourself. Then catch yourself when you do it. Notice what your thoughts are right after you say you want something. Where do your thoughts go after you ask for something? Do they reinforce more positive thoughts around what you’re asking for, or do they quickly turn to thoughts of worry, or any other negative thoughts that could cancel out the initial asking?
But there is a much more important question to ask, and that is: How can one become clear on what one wants, and why one wants it, before one sets the universe in motion? Until that task is done, you will experience hit or miss results. This begins the process of separating the act of wishful thinking from the act of spiritual engagement. It changes from, “I really hope I get my wish…,” to “I am going to bring this into my life for these reasons, because it will change my life in these ways, and this is what I’m going to do to help the process….”
To help you become clear on what you want, it’s beneficial to bring what you think you want into meditation and play it out. In a creative visualization, put it in motion, see where it takes you, and watch your reactions to what you are being shown. Speak to others who have what you want and ask them how they got it and what it has done for them. Live with all of this information for awhile. If you’re still interested after all of that, then it is time to set the universe and yourself in motion.